The New Gang, aka Red's Problems
by wericdream
Summary: Red thought he had won, that his basment was finally his, but he missed something, the dumba**** were proflic. Very proflic. And they all had homeing beacons on his basment. Needless to say, Red was not happy. Not happy at all.
1. Red was pissed

1

**Yeah, I should be working on my other stories, but well...I get sidetracked easily...enough said. I never say the last season of That 70s Show, but I get the jest of it. Let's just say I am writing the wrongs of the last season. I also won't be adding a year this story takes place because I'm not sure where it should go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own That 70s Show, 'cause if I did, Hyde and Jackie would NEVER HAVE BEEN APART. What can I say, I like the odd couples.**

Red was pissed. He was usually pissed, but still, he felt it important to note that he was practically pissed at this certain point in his life. Red thought that he had finally won, that all the dumbasses were gone, out of his life, and that he could finally get the house to himself.

That would be where Red was wrong. Very, very wrong. That would also be where Red would be pissed. Very, very pissed.

Because, you see, there was something Red missed. Something he forgot completely about. Something he should have seen coming. The simply, honest, truth about his dumbasses: they liked to cause misery in his life. Yes, they all went and had kids. But the kids weren't just any kids, OH NO; they were the gang's kids, also known as the NEW dumbasses. This in it's self was all that bad. After all, none of the children lived at his house; they were at their parents' places, with their OWN basements. That should have meant that Red would have only have had too seen them during the holidays. Well, that's what Red thought anyway.

Again, that would be where Red would be wrong. And pissed. Very, very pissed. And very, very wrong.

Because it seemed that all dumbasses had homing devices on his basement. They were like commies back during the war: everywhere you looked. But now there were so, so, SO many more dumbasses than before.

First there was Betsy, although Red didn't put her in the dumbass category. Like her father, Michael Kelso, Betsy was a real looker. Unlike her father, she had brains. She had long and wavy brown hair and crystal blue eyes, and a slim figure. Luckily she didn't care about looks at all or else she would have been conceited. Like her father. Betsy only cared about four things: books, history, her family, and her friends. Unlike her father, who thought nothing of books, or history. She was also a freshman in college. A freshman at Yale. Yep, Red didn't fit her in the dumbass category.

Unlike her younger brother, Kyle. Kyle, like Betsy and Kelso, was a looker. He was tall with board shoulders, brown hair, and brown eyes. But, unlike Betsy, he was conceited. Like his father. At seventeen and a junior in high school, Kyle was everything Kelso had been. Just like Kelso, Kyle didn't care about school or anything concerning smarts. He only cared about girls. Just like Kelso. Well, before Kelso finally married Brooke anyway. Although it was probable that Kelso fell off the wagon-so to say-occasionally. Not that there was any denying that Kelso loved Brooke to pieces, but Kelso was Kelso.

Kyle's best friend was Ledd, Hyde and Jackie's seventeen year-old son. And yes, he was named after the band, as was his twin brother Zepp. Let's just say Jackie was heavily medicated during the delivery and had no say whatsoever in the names. Both Ledd and Zepp inherited Jackie's dark hair and green eyes, only Ledd shared his father's curly hair trait and Zepp's was as straight as a board. While both shared their father's 'zeness', Zepp tended to be the quieter of the two, barley ever speaking and Ledd had some of his mother and father's tempers. However, neither one real cared about material things the way their mother did. Ledd did love trolls and gremlins though...

The king of all dumbasses had to be Red's sixteen year-old grandson (although with the way the seventies had been and the way this decade was turning out to be, every dumbass on the planet was Red's grandchild) Arnold. Arnold a.k.a Arnie the Nol. He was tall like his mother Donna, with Eric's pansy build and brown hair. Not to mention the personality, smart-ass mouth, and, oh yeah, the love of toys. Fortunately he did have Eric's brains when it came to school, that's all Red could ask for when it came to who Arnie's parents were.

Next came Duncan, Kyle's sixteen year-old brother. Duncan was every inch of what Kyle was, if only bigger. He built in a more muscular way, which could account for the reason of him being the star, and captain of, the football team. He also had enough brains to get by with Cs in schools and the occasional A whenever Betsy was in town. Or whenever he could trick someone else into doing the work for him. Like Finita.

Finita was the sixteen year-old daughter of Fez. She was lighter in color than her father, thanks to her mother's white skin (Red couldn't remember her mother's name since she left ten years ago, was it Cori or...what was that one girls name?) and had green blue eyes. Her hair was long and dark, and her voice like a singing bird's. Unlike her father, she didn't have any problem with speaking English, although she couldn't speak any other language she tried to learn. She was also smarter, a gifted student if there ever was one. But she did have her father's fondness for candy. And when she had candy...all hell broke loose.

Which was the perfect way to describe Red's other biological grandson, the fifteen year-old Ron: hell. Maybe it was the red hair that made him the way he was. Maybe it all the drugs his parents had taken years before that somehow awakened in him. Maybe it was too much time with Leo. Red really didn't know, but he did know that Ron was the devil's child. Wherever that kid went, destruction went. Kitty said that Red just hadn't forgiven Ron for burning the couch, or their bed, or melting the microwave, or the television, or breaking the good china, or the remote, or the phone, or for driving the car over a cliff when Ron was three, or...well a number of other things, but mostly because of the car. Red just said that Ron was out to get him. And that Ron was a dumbass.

Hell was another way to describe Kelso's youngest son, Dillian. Mostly known as Kelso's clone. If anyone wanted to know what Dillian-Dilly-is like, all they would have to do was rewind time and watch Kelso at his most Kelsoness. Because, since the world hated Red in every possible way, Dilly was really just a Kelso Jr.. Yes, the world was doomed.

One of Red's favorites of the new dumbasses-although again this one he really didn't put into the dumbass category-was Jackie and Hyde's daughter Buffy. Buffy was sometimes called Muffy because that's what Jackie had wanted to name her, but again, she had been heavily medicated and Hyde had taken full reigns in naming their daughter. His fighting argument in Jackie not killing him when she learned what he had done was to tell her that he had at least kept the last four letters the same. Jackie said Buffy was a too tough sounding name and Hyde said Muffy was too girly of a name. Even with Jackie as a mother, Red had to agree. Buffy was a sweet kid, if not a bit quiet and shy, but he knew that she could kick some ass when it came down to it, not that anyone else had seen her beat down bullying older boys back when she was eight. Which is why he didn't worry about her starting high school like he knew Kitty and some of the other adults did. They were just worried that she was too sweet of a girl to be able to stand up to people when they attacked her. And they did have good reason to worry, Buffy was a real looker. She had her father's brown hair, cut in a short hairstyle with the straightness of her mother's hair, and her mother's green eyes. At fourteen she was still short, like her mother had always been, but was quickly growing a woman's body. She was slim with all the right curves that men loved and her chest-according to every high school boy-rivaled that of a playboy bunny's in the making. Not that anyone in the family was happy about that, unless you counted the teenage Kelso and Foreman boys, not that they would admit it though, thanks to the fear of Ledd and Zepp who, although they ignored her out of existence and she thought they didn't care about her, were extremely overprotective of their baby sister. Again, they had good reason.

Next came Laurie's daughter Nellie, her only child as of late as long as Fez kept his hands of his brand new wife...on second thought, Laurie's current only biological child. Nellie was thirteen and starting high school with Buffy. Only Nellie happened to be a lot like Laurie, wild, crazy, and beautiful. Some of Red's prayers had been answered and Nellie wasn't such...a free lover like her mother and she did have school smarts, even if she tried to keep her gifted title a secret from the boys at school. Ah, the boys...Yeah, Red had a shotgun stashed in the closet just in case some boy wanted to corrupt his beautiful, short, blonde haired granddaughter.

Fez's son was twelve and...well Red really wasn't sure how to describe Alfie. Like his father before him, Alfie was a pervert. A miniature pervert. He was a candy fiend like his sister and his father and loved his jellybeans. Really loved the jellybeans. Touch his jellybeans and you were just begging for trouble. His coloring was darker than his fathers with dark eyes and raven black hair. The boy had trouble speaking English-even though he was born in America and had an American mother-but could speak any language thrown at him. A fact that nearly killed his sister who wanted nothing more than to speak every language there was. Alfie was also an idiot. He was failing at school and nothing was changing that sad little fact. Well, Red was trying, a good kick in the ass should straighten the kid out...

There was one grandchild that Red was scared to death of, well, at least when she was in one of her 'moods'. Eric's first daughter was eleven, redheaded, shrimp sized, with one blue eye and green eye, had a fiery temper that put her mother Donna to shame, and a pure evil genius. Like her brother Ron, she was gifted at causing chaos, especially when someone made fun of her name: Tansy. Yes, Tansy. It was widely believed that Donna had been out of it (*cough*meds*cough) during the delivery and Eric had fainted, causing Hyde, Kelso, Fez (and possibly Jackie who was still angry at Donna for making fun of Jackie for wanting to name Buffy Muffy) to come up with the name Tansy. Just so there could be another Pansy Foreman, not that there was anything weak about Tansy. Oh no. Call Tansy Pansy, or call Tansy a girlie girl, and you were dead. So, so very dead. 'Cause like her mother before her, Tansy could punch. Red blamed the red hair, but that gave him a swift-and hard-kick from his granddaughter.

The famous temper didn't make it's way to Lilly, Eric and Donna's final child. Lilly was ten, tall for her age, with brown eyes and brown hair, and her fathers skinniness curse. Lilly tended to be overshadowed by the other children to the point that Red knew nothing of his youngest biological granddaughter (again it seemed every dumbasses's child was his grandchild).

Next came Crusoe Smith Hyde, the ten year-old player. Again, Jackie had no say in the naming (damn meds!). Crusoe inherited his father's curly hair and his mother's black hair, his fathers blue eyes, and zen. But, unlike his father, he loved sports. Namely, basketball. At his age he was tall enough that you could see him over the heads of everyone else in a large crowd, which helped his game. While this annoyed Hyde a little (although he secretly loved the fact that his son was the star basketball player) he took joy in the fact that his son loved cars and hard rock music. "At least I thought him something" Hyde would say.

When Jackie was delivered her last child, she forgo taking any meds. She wanted to finally name her child and give no choice to Hyde whatsoever in the name. So she endured the pain just so she could name her baby boy (Hyde had planned to let her do this anyway, after all he wasn't completely evil, but he felt it best to let her think she beat him at something). After three hours of horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE pain, Jackie was able to name her child, Devon Ren Gage Hyde, called Ren. And at age three, Ren lived up to his mouthful of a name. He was a perfect actor, putting adult against adult, teenager against teenager, getting everyone yelling at each other while he snuck away to eat the sugar cookie his mother said he couldn't have. Oh yes, he was trouble. And with his black hair and gleaming green eyes, Red knew he was going to grow up to be a big heart breaker. A big, big one.

The list of new dumbasses should have stopped there. SHOULD HAVE. But no, it seemed menopause had finally caught up to Kitty in a very bad way. She had begged, cursed, drunk, and cried until finally Red had given into her pleas. They adopted an orphan. A commie orphan. Or at least Red thought the kid was a commie, hell, he wasn't even sure where the kid came from, or how to say his whole name. It was the whole Fez thing all over again. Red's new son was Pizz (yes, he understood the whole similarity between Fez and Pizz, he wasn't stupid). Pizz was fifteen with slanted blue eyes, tinted skin, and black hair. He wasn't from any Asia country or Hispanic/Latino country. Well, Red didn't know where Pizz was from, but he did know one thing: Pizz was a dumbass. Then again, Red though almost everyone was a dumbass.

So that was it, that was the list of all the new dumbasses. They far outnumbered the old ones and, in Red's opinion, were far worse than their parents had ever been. At least with the old ones Red had a chance at some peace and quiet, but somehow all the adult dumbasses had invaded the neighborhood. Eric and Donna had taken Bob's house when he moved to Miami, Hyde and Jackie took the house on the other side of Red's place, Fez and Laurie had moved across the street from Red's, and Kelso had moved a few houses down from Eric's place. All houses had basements and a few of them even had large attics. One would reason that the kids all had hangouts _AWAY _from Red's house. That they wouldn't bother him. One would be wrong. For it seemed that-when he wasn't paying attention-all the dumbasses had invaded his basement...again. Everyday there they were, in his basement. At least it was only the high school ones, after all, there was the rule that only teenagers could hang in the basement (a rule Ledd and Zepp had made once they turned thirteen). But that was enough for Red to be pissed. Really, really pissed. But then, Red was always pissed.

_**AND NOW...**__._

_Hangin' out...down the street.  
The same old thing...we did last week.  
Not a thing to do  
but talk to you.  
Not a thing to do out in the street....oh yeah._

Mom and dad… live upstairs.  
The music's loud…so we don't care.  
Nixon's gone  
but rock lives on.... Oooh yeah.....

We're still rockin' in Wisconsin.  
We're alright! We're alright!  
Yeah!

I steal a car…and drive on down...  
Pick you up… and we'll drive around.

Not a thing to do  
but talk to you..  
not a thing to do.....oooh yeah.

We're still rockin' in Wisconsin....  
We're all alright! We're all alright!  
HELLO WISCONSIN!

'**Kay, got the lyrics from the web, I think that's close to the theme song. Please review, and please, NO FLAMES!!! I don't mind criticism, just please don't attack me.**


	2. Start of the First Day

1

"Oh my God!" Nellie nearly screamed in Buffy's ear. "After school we finally get to do it! We finally get to do it!" She started bouncing around, causing Buffy a great deal of embarrassment. Her blonde hair bounced with her, waving in the wind. "We get to do it, we get to do it, we gana do it!" She chanted as she started to dance. Buffy wanted to hide her face. They were both at the bus stop, waiting for the first day of high school to begin. A quick glance at those surrounding them confirmed Buffy's fear: they were the only girls there. The large group of boys had stared at them as they walked up making Buffy very nervous. Things had only gotten worse as Nellie started her little dance number. "We get to do it, we get to do it, oh yeah, we get to do it!" The boys started to laugh and Buffy could just guess what they though Nellie meant. 'Think again boys, think again'.

"Um, Nellie, maybe you shouldn't..." she whispered to her friend. Nellie stopped what she was doing to look at her friend. Then she took a look at the boys and smiled.

"If you want to give them a real show, then you could always jump too." She laughed at Buffy's horror stricken face. "Come on, you know I'm just kidding. I like all the attention to myself." She turned away from her friend with a smirk.

Buffy knew that Nellie didn't mean it. Nellie was really so ditzy and...so much like her mom had been years before. She just liked to act like it sometimes. At least, that's what Buffy hoped.

"Hey, Muff, where are your brothers at?"

Buffy winced at her nickname. Thank the lord her mom had been too medicated to give her that crappy name. "Ledd and Zepp are with the egos." She answered, referring to the Kelso brothers as the 'egos'. It was well known that Buffy hated the Kelsos, excluding Betsy of course. Yet her older twin brothers seemed to like them, excluding Betsy and sometimes Duncan. Nellie, on the other hand, loved the Kelso guys. Which became clear in the after Buffy finished her sentence.

"THE KELSO BROTHERS!" She screamed, jumping up and down. "WHY AREN'T WE WITH THEM?" Buffy bowed her head. How could she explain to her friend that her brothers forgot that Buffy was even alive half the time? She wasn't like Nellie, who everyone adored. Everyone doted upon Nellie, the blonde haired goddess that she was. But plain old Buffy, as she liked to think of herself, was invisible to the rest of the world, at least the way she saw it. "Buffy? Earth to Buffy, are you still there?"

"Duncan," Buffy couldn't help but roll her eyes at the mention of his name, "had to get to school early and didn't want anyone but the guys riding with them." No need to add to the fact that Buffy and Nellie were outsiders when it came to the gang, or as Grandpa Red liked to call them, "the new dumbasses". But that all changed today.

Suddenly the bus pulled up and everyone rushed to get on and find a window seat.. Nellie turned to Buffy before getting on. "Tonight, remember?" Buffy nodded, more sure and excited then she had ever been.

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"Look it's a bird, it's a plane, it's superma- oh it's just Dillon, the lord of all morons!" Ledd pointed at Dillon Kelso. Dillon-Dilly-was currently occupying a seat in the trash can, food all over his hair and new clothes. Arnie and Ron Foreman stood with Ledd, laughing their asses off while Ledd's twin Zepp just stood in the background. "Man, you just had to mess with Randy Tyson's chick, didn't you?"

"She talked to me first!" Dilly said as he jumped off and brushed off the food clinging to his yellow shirt.

The guys rolled their eyes at each other. "And you just had to talk to her, didn't you?"

"Hey, a fine girl like that talks to me and hell yeah I'm going to talk to her. Can't let the ladies down, can I?"

"Dude, you're such a-"Ledd started to say.

"OH DILLY!" A girl with bright blonde hair and a really mini miniskirt called to him.

Dilly smiled at the guys. "See, ladies just can't get enough of this!"

The guys watched him go. "That's Susan Joney, right?" Ledd asked his twin.

"Yep."

"Goes out with Gregg 'The Beast' Cal, right?"

"Yep."

"He's so dead."

"Yep."

Everyone roared in laughter.

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Duncan Kelso was a having a really bad day. First his girlfriend-his really hot girlfriend-dumped him. Then he learned his friend Warren was dating her. His friend Warren wouldn't even had known Casey if Duncan hadn't of introduced them and even after he had, Warren had hated Casey. Yet now they were going out. It sickened him to see them making out after she had just broken his heart, but there was nothing he could do. Fighting with Warren would only make things worse at the moment. He would just have to wait to win her back.

He walked into a classroom and nearly walked back out. The classroom-science- was packed by throngs of people and only one seat was left. And that seat was one he would have rather not of taken.

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Buffy didn't know why she was there, in that evil, evil place. Good girls like her didn't get sent there, not now, not ever. But there she was, sitting in front of the principal's office. It was all Duncan's fault, not that he would ever admit it.

"Stop glaring at me, it's not like it's my fault." He told her. She knew he would say that. It didn't help matters that Ron Foreman walked in and sat down next to her.

"What did little Muffin Cake do?" He laughed at her, globs of paste glued to his hand. 'Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask', she told herself. "So, little Muffin Cake got into trouble? Never thought I'd see the day!" Damn that name, just damn it!

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'Kay, not the best chapter, but I'm just getting started!


	3. The Office Chat, and Curly and Mo

Disclaimer: Don't own That 70's Show, but I do own the kids! …well not Betsy…darn it…

Buffy squirmed under Principal Nixie's (*cough*Pixie*cough*) glare. She, as well as Duncan, sat in Principal Nixie's leather wrapped, cigar smelling, dark office awaiting their death sentence. They were about to die, she just knew it.

Mr. Nixie was a rather large man with a long, meaty nose and small dark eyes. He had virtually no hair and very small teeth that smelled of, what else, cigar smoke. The entire school hated him, and yes, that included the teachers. Well, excluding Miss Hodown of course, but then, everyone knew what THAT was about. Buffy had one word for Miss Hodown: _eww._

Buffy held her arms tightly across her chest, not daring to look at either Mr. Nixie or Duncan-the –biggest-evilest-egotistic-jerk-that-ever-walked-the-Earth. Duncan sat staring at the wall, wishing he could go back in time and stop Mr. and Mrs. Hyde from ever meeting and producing their evil offspring sitting next to him. Mr. Nixie was, for his part, thinking of nothing other than if the two week-old meatball sub with garlic sauce was still good.

"So," Mr. Nixie broke the awkward silence, "would you care to explain to me what this is?" He held up a light pink object…Buffy's bra.

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"What he say, what he say?" Dilly asked Ron, shoving his elbow into his ribs, which caused Ron's ear to bang against the glass cup he had against the door.

"OW!" He hit Dilly.

"What was that for?"

"For being a blatant burden on society."

"Wow, big words. What do they mean?"

Ron sighed and went back to listening in on the conversation. " He asked what it is."

"What what is?"

"It."

"It what?"

"It."

"Oh, it."

"No you idiot, not it it, but _it."_

"Oh…I'm confused….what is it again?"

"Why you!" Ron kicked his friend.

"Ow, that's not nice!"

"Hey, Curly and Mo," Ledd said, coming into the office with Zepp behind him, "what are you doing?"

Dilly glanced at his friend, letting Ron go back to listening in. "Duncan and Buffy are in there with Nixie."

Ledd laughed. "Nixie the Pixie? What did they do?"

"We don't know, that's why were listening."

"You mean eavesdropping."

"No, listening."

"Yeah, eavesdropping."

"No, we're just listening in onto the conversation."

"That your not supposed to be listening too."

"Yeah."

"So eavesdropping."

"No."

Ledd sighed and turned to Ron. "So what's going on in there?"

"Yeah Ron, what's it?"

"It?"

"Yeah, they're talking about it."

"It it?"

"That's what I said!"

"Ron…"

Ron's face went pale and then a deep red. He took the cup off of the door. "Um…"

"Ron?"

All Ron could think of was what the item was, and there was no way he was going to tell Ledd or Zepp what 'it' was. "Um…." _What to do, what to do_…_Ah, that's it!"_

[][][][][][][][][][]

"RON GET BACK HERE!" Ledd yelled at the carrot top running in the halls. People turned to stare at the pair running like madmen. "GET BACK HERE PANSY!"

Ron ran down the stairs, not foolish enough to look back. "I'M NOT THAT STUPID!" One of the teachers peeked out of her classroom just as Ron ran past, Ledd a few feet behind.

She shook her head. "Those people just had to breed didn't they?"

[][][][][][][][]

'**Kay short chapter, sorry, but need to work on my other story as well.**


	4. Black and Popsicle

**I have no idea where this story is going…Just along for the ride I guess.**

Disclaimer: Don't own nothin'…wow, that's a sad thing to admit…

Buffy hit her head against the back of the bus seat. Over and over and over again. Very, very hard.

"Um," Nellie said from beside her, "Ya know people are staring right." Buffy banged her head again. And again. "I'm going to take that as a no." Buffy banged her head in response. "So…why aren't we riding with your brothers?"

Buffy groaned. "Because they are busy dumping Ron's body."

"Come again?"

[][][][][][][][]

Arnie threw a popsicle at his younger brother Ron. They were in Red's basement-formerly Eric Foreman's garage-with most of the new gang (*cough* new* cough* dumbasses*cough). Ron sat on the couch, groaning in misery.

Arnie plopped down next to him. "So little bro, what did you do?"

"Um…"

"Tell Uncle Arnie what the problem is."

"Dude, I thought you guys were brothers!" Dilly yelled.

Ledd hit Dilly. "They are you nimrod."

"But he just said-"

"Never mind that, let's hear what Ron has to say. Ron?" Ledd and everyone stared to look at Ron, who was holding a popsicle to his black eye. "What could you have possibly done to merit a black eye?"

"Um…"

Arnie nudged his little brother. "Come on, what did you do. Tell the doctor."

"Dude, now you're a doctor? When did this happen?"

"Are you really that stupid?"

"Dude, he just said-"

"Never mind that. Let's listen to Ron."

"I'm trying to, but he's not saying anything! And Arnie keeps saying he's a doctor."

"I said that once, ignoramus."

"What's with the big words?"

"Just shut up and let the doctor's brother speak."

"See, even you called him that."

"SHUT UP!" Everyone yelled at Dilly.

"Well fine."

Everyone turned to Ron. "So what did you do."

Ron took in a deep breath. "IoverheardNixiethePixietalkingaboutBuffy'sbraand," he took in another breath, "hitLeddbeforerunningawaysohewouldn'tmakemetellhimwhat NixiePixiewastalkingaboutwithDuncanandBuffybecauseLeddlikestoshootthemessenger."

Everyone, save Ledd and Zepp, stared at Ron. "…."

"WHAT!"

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"WHAT!!!" Nellie yelled at her best friend, causing everyone on the bus to stare at her. "Ron hit Ledd?"

Buffy gaped at her. "It amazes me what you hear and don't hear. Yes, Ron hit Ledd, well actually he kicked him hard in the shin before he took off, but yeah, that's what happened."

"Okay, I know my cousin has a death wish, after all, he did have that incident when he was three with Grandpa's car-"

"You weren't even alive for so how would you know?"

"-but to actually hit-"

"Kick"

"-Ledd, is he suicidal?"

"You just said he had a death wish."

"Ledd would kill for less than that. After what he did to Alfie when we were little-"

"And what he did to Duncan today…"

"-everyone should know better than to…wait, what?"

[][][][][][[][][][][][][][][][]

Duncan took in a deep breath before entering the basement. His sides were hurting worse than when he was twelve and had been tackled by the senor linebacker who had thought Duncan was sneaking a conk at his girl. While that may have or may not have been true-read the last name people, it's KELSO, Duncan KELSO- not even the pain of four months in a body caste could compare to the pain he was feeling now. If Ledd ever became a football player…Duncan shuddered at the thought. Like it was even his fault! Duncan didn't care what people said, Buffy was the true evil child of the Hyde offspring, not Ledd. Although Ledd was good at bashing people's heads against concrete and cars, cracking shoulders behind their backs, kicking them in their kneecaps, and hitting them square in the jaw-for good measure and a nice finishing touch- Duncan stood by his decision that Buffy Muffin Cake was evil, pure evil. Oh, he did not just call her Muffin Cake did he?

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"So he just kicked his ass?" Nellie stared wide-eyed at Buffy. "HE KICKED HIS ASS!"

"No, in the shin."

"NOT RON, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR OLDER EVIL DEVIL CHILD BROTHER HURTING DUNCAN!"

"Well, Ledd and Zepp don't like Duncan…"

"Or Betsy."

"Yeah, I don't get that. Betsy is amazing, Duncan on the other hand…"

"IS TOTALLY HOT!"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "That's because he's a Kelso."

"HA! You admit it, he is hot."

"Besides the point."

"No that is the point."

"Do you want to know about the bra or not?"

"Not really, I want to know more about Duncan." She got a dreamy look on her face.

"Oh jeez…"

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Ron took one look at Duncan's black eye, err…eye_s_, and threw him a popsicle.

"What's this for?" Duncan asked sourly, glaring at Ledd as he sat down next to Dilly, his traitorous brother.

Ron laughed. "For the new sunglasses you're sporting."

Ledd leaned back his chair and smugly placed his black boots on the old table. Oddly enough, he was like a flashback to his father, sitting in Hyde's old chair with the same cockiness he father held. "What did you do? Hit yourself as you watched your girlfriend make out with your best friend?"

Duncan rose his feet, his body tense. "You know damn well what happened-"

"WHAT IN THE WORLD!" Duncan was tackled by a dark haired bird. Finita 'man handled' Duncan's face, swirling it about every which way. "You should have water on this, not Popsicles, let me get you some, you better listen to me because I am going to be-"

"A doctor, we know." Everyone said in unison.

"Um," Zepp murmured, "shouldn't you be using meat and not water?"

Finita gave him a death stare. "What did I say?"

"Um, water."

"Then water it is." Finita stomped upstairs to the kitchen.

"Dude, you talked." Dilly gaped at Ledd's twin.

Ledd punched Dilly. "Shut up."

"Don't punch my brother!" Duncan yelled at Ledd.

"What are you going to do?"

Duncan grabbed Ledd by his shirt and pulled him up. "I'll show you what, you-" He stopped as the basement door opened, revealing a small figure in the shadows. _Please don't let it be her…_

[][][]][][][][][][][][][]

"Finita, sweetie, are you sure you want to use water?" Kitty asked. Finita gave her a death glare. "Well okay, " she laughed **(I don't know how to write her laugh, sorry ********)**, "Have fun." Finita walked down to the basement and Kitty scurried to sit next to Red at the old yellow table. "Red, I'm worried."

"Well Kitty," Red started as he put the newspaper down, "I told you to lock those doors. I warned you what would happen, that we shouldn't invite Eric and his friends and their…devil spawned children over for Christmas and Halloween and Thanksgiving. I knew they would just keep coming back, taking over my garage I though I had finally gotten back when we kicked those others ones out, but no you had to invite them. Well Kitty, you should be worried. Their kids will probably be in the basement when we are old and gray."

"But Red…"

"Here we go again. Seems this is how all our conversations go."

"Red Foreman."

"Here we go again."


End file.
